restless boredom

i wonder what it really means to be restless and bored. i suppose one can be truly bored if they have been cooped up in the house for several days. that is certainly not always the case though, is it? i have a sneaking suspision that in my case it most likely means i am really avoiding doing something or facing some task that i have an issue with. take tonight for instance, i have been home since late afternoon doing nothing but watching tv, sighing, snacking, looking for something good to eat in the kitchen and sighing some more. i should be cleaning up all the boxes of stuff still stacked in my room and in my spare room. i moved in here 3 months ago and moved stuff from storage 2 months ago, stacked it all up in the rooms and have only unpacked or gone through maybe one quarter of it. it bugs me and it is on my mind all the time yet here it sits, bugging me still. there i sit in the living room thinking about it but choosing to be "bored and restless" and do nothing but stare at the tv. well, i guess i sort of answered the question then haven't i? now, if i could just make myself change it. ah, no i will stay here writing for a bit longer and then probably go watch some more tv and think about how bored i am. it is so true that we humans are so programmed when we are young by people and circumstance, we just keep all these self limiting thoughts and habits without realizing it. i am working on changing mine so maybe in a few weeks i won't get "bored" i will get busy instead and clean up all these boxes.

true desire

i am starting this blog because i just have this true and deep desire to write. i just have to do it.

i have always loved written words. i love to read and i love to write. when i was a kid i spent a lot of time writing short stories. i used to say that one day i would write the great american novel. then adult life began and somehow i stopped writing as a hobby, except for the long letters i used to write to friends because that was back in the days when people still wrote letters to each other. these days we write emails, but for some reason we don't seem to write emails the same way we used to write letters. anyway, i was recently reconnected with my soul's desire to write.

last month i participated in a 3 part transformational coaching seminar given by my good friend and spiritual advisor, Liz Diamond. the subject matter was awakening to what you truly desire. during the first session we did an amazing meditation in which our soul's true desires were revealed. to my delight i discovered that what i had thought i wanted was truly very different than what i really and truly do desire. one of the things that came up for me during this meditation was my deep, true inner desire to write. i don't really know if i am destined to write the great american novel, have short stories published in magazines, write children's books or just simply journal my thoughts. i just know that i want to write. that i have lots and lots of words floating around in my brain and i need to put them out where they can be read. thus, this blog. i don't even know who, if anyone, will read my words. i just know i want to write them.

i love pen and paper and really enjoy writing on paper, line after line of feeling the smooth writing of the ink on the paper. these days it is just simpler to type on a key board and see the words appear on the computer screen in front of you. my arthritic wrists hurt less with typing than writing on paper. i guess i am trying to explain to myself why i am typing this blog rather than writing in a journal!

i wish everyone i know would tune in to Liz's amazing teleseminars and discover their true desires, among other things. she is offering 3 part teleseminars with a different purpose every month. the calls are held at 4pm my time the first, second and third tuesdays of the month. on the fourth tuesday she offers a free preview of the next months course. this month is awakening to self love, which i believe is something most of us could really use. if anyone ends up reading this blog post and is interested in Liz's transformational coaching teleseminars click on this link and you can find out all about it http://www.creatingintentions.com/coachingseries it will truly be the best money you ever spend on yourself.

my desire is to write on this blog most everyday and just spew forth the thoughts in my head. maybe i will write the occasional short story or a poem. who knows. it will be a journey. i hope someone joins me on this journey since i really don't enjoy being alone. that, however, is a subject for another day's blog post now isn't it?